I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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