Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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