he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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