No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
