You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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