well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's the barista slut.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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