I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I could fuck to npr.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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