If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
