If i come over, it means nothing
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Found the puke drawer
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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