Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
