Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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