We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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