I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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