pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
