dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
