If i come over, it means nothing
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize