Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
