Did you just see the Batmobile???
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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