oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
