Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
