I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
