I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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