What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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