in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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