Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
