that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
