You just made me feel so damn special
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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