Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize