bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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