I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize