READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
