i just google imaged poop.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize