Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Barsexuality is the new black.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
