Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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