thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I have demons in me.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
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