Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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