Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
