We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
