I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Ladies don't puke and tell
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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