i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
