i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
