Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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