Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
