Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
