Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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