my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
