this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
