People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
