I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
