And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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