watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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